april in review

April was an interesting time. I felt the spirit of spring in full force and with it the feeling of rebirth. In March I was very critical of my time and how I spent it. This month I let go of the expectation and grip on my plans, what I needed to do and who I needed to be and just let time sweep me away. I weekends entirely on my phone and watching youtube. I didn't control what I ought to be doing at any given time. The only thing I really committed to was 30 - 40 minutes of meditation in the morning and evening. This really wasn't something I picked up to increase my focus or concentration so I could be more "productive". I meditate because I want time alone to sit and witness my thoughts and explore how my mind works. It also wasn't something I commit to with discipline, I simply meditate if I feel like it. This turned out to be 17 days consecutively until I was "too lazy" for 2 days in a row, then I meditated for 6 days in a row then I took another 2 days off, then the rest of the month I did it.

What are three words you would use to describe this month?
pathless, tranquil, free

What was your relationship with the digital like this month?

Last month I talked about how I was doomscrolling a lot and developing some bad digital habits but also spending a lot of time working on my personal projects on my computer. This month I didn't doomscroll much but I also stayed away from my computer in general. I spent a lot more time on my phone than I historically have but its ok. I learned that sometimes I get obsessed with niche things that I really want to keep up to date with but those things rarely stick and I get sick of them and want to go outside again eventually. I think this month I actually spent much more time in the real world and not looking at my computer.

What is something new you started this month?

I already talked about meditating but that wasn't really new for me. I did start something truly new which is rare for humans in general. I started to live stream while I walked around Tokyo after I was inspired watching a streamer walk the whole of Taiwan. I have always loved walking around and exploring and seeing random things. I never really had the inclination to live stream but some of my friends said that I would be fun to watch so I gave it a shot. It's early days and I'm not expecting much but it would definitely be cool if strangers wanted to watch me walk around. I haven't decided on a platform either there's twitch, instagram live, tiktok live, kick... etc. More on this next time I guess!

What song would best describe the mood this month?

I've got a few
I've been on a bit of a flamenco music kick and never knew that Rosalia actually studied flamenco music and that her first albums were submitted as part of her masters degree in flamenco. I really liked "Que Se Muere Que Se Muere" and "Nos Quedamos Solitos". Her voice is velvet and beautiful.
The second is "Los Angeles" by Haim. In terms of mood the sunbleached, nostalgic and jazzy tone really encapsulated the weather heating up. I really got the vibe of girl walking/driving around LA trying to figure things out, which is really me at the moment. I really resonated with the song's tension between place and emotion, a questioning of where one should be and where home is.